








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 277 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 177 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2659 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,491 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1852 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1603 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1609 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1427 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $598,076 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | glazz | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | bLz⌖ | 72% | 46 |
| #4 | Pustinqka | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | egal | 63% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | glazz | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | bLz⌖ | 72% | 46 |
| #4 | Pustinqka | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | egal | 63% | 32 |
| #6 | -x1no | 63% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egal | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | -x1no | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Pustinqka | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bLz⌖ | 121 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Pustinqka | 98 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | egal | 97 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | -x1no | 52 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | glazz | 30 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egal | +3.28 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | bLz⌖ | +1.29 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | shems187 | +1.13 | 86 | 55 |
| #4 | Pustinqka | +0.86 | 75 | 49 |
| #5 | L | +0.75 | 70 | 66 |





