








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 724 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1819 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1355 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1354 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $449,752 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I hef 2 dads | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | pinguino pelato | 59% | 41 |
| #3 | Loki_-18 | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | Slaym | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | David Treagus | 55% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | David Treagus | 55% | 174 |
| #6 | viking | 53% | 110 |
| #7 | braxton1337 | 50% | 60 |
| #8 | Vaghar | 43% | 35 |
| #9 | Kriizen v. | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | David Treagus | 53 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | pinguino pelato | 10 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | I hef 2 dads | 10 | 0.0221 |
| #4 | Vaghar | 7 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | braxton1337 | 6 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | David Treagus | 617 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | viking | 340 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Slaym | 95 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | I hef 2 dads | 80 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | pinguino pelato | 71 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | David Treagus | +5.18 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | pinguino pelato | +1.37 | 71 | 63 |
| #3 | braxton1337 | +0.84 | 69 | 47 |
| #4 | Slaym | +0.48 | 64 | 44 |
| #5 | I hef 2 dads | +0.47 | 62 | 50 |





