








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1864 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1850 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2870 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2780 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $992,454 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | pinguino pelato | 49% | 123 |
| #9 | SkilzZ | 47% | 45 |
| #10 | Kriizen v. | 44% | 118 |
| #11 | Vaghar | 39% | 31 |
| #12 | GanGsta GaminG | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | David Treagus | 94 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | I hef 2 dads | 56 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | pinguino pelato | 40 | 0.0159 |
| #4 | GanGsta GaminG | 19 | 0.0272 |
| #5 | Kriizen v. | 11 | 0.0046 |





