










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 395 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1260 | 37% |
| Smokes | 247 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 1212 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 665 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,263 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mensageiro Celeste do Flamengo | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | blench | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | luis10barbo | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | farinha | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | mrqsz | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jorge | 46 | 0.0251 |
| #2 | lemon juice | 17 | 0.0511 |
| #3 | fudido lanches | 15 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | 6yari | 14 | 0.0168 |
| #5 | calkachju | 14 | 0.0401 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dumis | +7.51 | 87 | 58 |
| #2 | luis10barbo | +6.77 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | mrqsz | +6.51 | 75 | 52 |
| #4 | Mensageiro Celeste do Flamengo | +6.37 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | blench | +3.91 | 68 | 55 |





