










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
357 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,353 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 346 | 26% |
| Smokes | 371 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 266 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 370 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $69,331 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | opdust | 45 | 0.45 | 1 min |
| #2 | P3R3IIRA | 37 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Icarus | 32 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | aragornN | 30 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #5 | juju | 28 | 0.21 | 1 min |





