








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,780 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1558 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2043 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2511 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2668 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $894,061 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘳 | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | CianoHD | 53% | 72 |
| #3 | Kirk | 52% | 104 |
| #4 | ScottishRandall | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Hazard | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | CianoHD | 53% | 72 |
| #3 | Kirk | 52% | 104 |
| #4 | ScottishRandall | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Hazard | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | Wizzard | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirk | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | CianoHD | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | 𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘳 | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Hazard | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | ScottishRandall | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wizzard | 277 | 0.33 | 7 min |
| #2 | CianoHD | 171 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kirk | 156 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | 𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘳 | 109 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hazard | 69 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazard | +2.89 | 81 | 56 |
| #2 | ScottishRandall | +0.75 | 69 | 21 |
| #3 | Wizzard | +0.51 | 54 | 75 |
| #4 | Sand Monkey | +0.09 | 57 | 63 |
| #5 | Kirk | -0.47 | 50 | 47 |





