








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,270 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3940 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3703 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3105 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2522 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $297,220 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirk | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | CianoHD | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | Hazard | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | Sand Monkey | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirk | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | CianoHD | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | Hazard | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | Sand Monkey | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sand Monkey | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Hazard | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Kirk | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CianoHD | 113 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Hazard | 96 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sand Monkey | 67 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kirk | 37 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazard | +2.46 | 70 | 55 |
| #2 | Wizzard | +0.21 | 59 | 75 |
| #3 | Sand Monkey | -0.18 | 54 | 64 |
| #4 | Kirk | -0.22 | 54 | 39 |
| #5 | CianoHD | -0.63 | 52 | 66 |





