








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 498 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,807 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5231 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6588 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5163 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5825 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,027,001 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vorin | 50% | 305 |
| #2 | m^ | 49% | 409 |
| #3 | linkes_frettchen | 49% | 68 |
| #4 | ZeroSpark | 46% | 61 |
| #5 | takI | 45% | 266 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ZeroSpark | 46% | 61 |
| #5 | takI | 45% | 266 |
| #6 | Gabriel Clemens | 44% | 273 |
| #7 | 𝖄𝖚𝖙𝖆𝖆𝖆シ | 43% | 58 |
| #8 | mandzara | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vorin | 17 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Gabriel Clemens | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | takI | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | m^ | 9 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | mandzara | 9 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m^ | 619 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #2 | Vorin | 476 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #3 | takI | 329 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Gabriel Clemens | 273 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | linkes_frettchen | 232 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m^ | +2.93 | 83 | 51 |
| #2 | linkes_frettchen | +2.07 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | Motaki | +0.76 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | Vorin | +0.31 | 58 | 54 |
| #5 | ZeroSpark | -0.44 | 59 | 41 |





