








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 312 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1411 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2247 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1039 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2403 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,708,276 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2595 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Vorin | 45% | 209 |
| #6 | linkes_frettchen | 44% | 116 |
| #7 | Motaki | 44% | 273 |
| #8 | takI | 40% | 175 |
| #9 | mandzara | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Motaki | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Vorin | 16 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | linkes_frettchen | 15 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | mandzara | 13 | 0.0137 |
| #5 | takI | 11 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Motaki | 591 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | m^ | 502 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | linkes_frettchen | 391 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | Vorin | 390 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | takI | 229 | 0.06 | 4 min |





