








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 332 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 255 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,959 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15496 | 40% |
| Smokes | 9337 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7554 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6572 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,444,687 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | potato | 64% | 76 |
| #2 | phil | 58% | 215 |
| #3 | lum | 57% | 61 |
| #4 | Lavish | 56% | 43 |
| #5 | φ goj1nho | 54% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaintSmile | 10 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | φ goj1nho | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | s L a | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | phil | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Lavish | 5 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phil | 705 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | φ goj1nho | 698 | 0.28 | 18 min |
| #3 | potato | 474 | 0.32 | 13 min |
| #4 | Lavish | 384 | 0.44 | 9 min |
| #5 | FaintSmile | 377 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lavish | +3.54 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | φ goj1nho | +2.35 | 72 | 75 |
| #3 | phil | +1.51 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | rice | +0.70 | 66 | 75 |
| #5 | potato | +0.31 | 83 | 69 |





