










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1822 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 971 | 29% |
| Smokes | 487 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1034 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 865 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $875,537 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GucKDoose | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Shoe | 53% | 51 |
| #3 | Mellow | 50% | 142 |
| #4 | Big H, Destroyer of Kingdoms | 46% | 130 |
| #5 | The Mayor of Garcia Colorado | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GucKDoose | +7.44 | 68 | 54 |
| #2 | [scumge] Kuzco's Poison | +5.76 | 76 | 41 |
| #3 | Shoe | +2.81 | 63 | 55 |
| #4 | woadie | +1.77 | 71 | 46 |
| #5 | [BB] Hus-Korgi | +1.63 | 58 | 57 |





