








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 820 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3413 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3554 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3329 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3219 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,597,033 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 614 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmy Seepage | 30 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Legos | 8 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | Tydrel | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | konei | 7 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | DeathByOneSoul | 6 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmy Seepage | 548 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | DeathByOneSoul | 210 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | Jayblooey | 157 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Tydrel | 138 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Angeluss | 136 | 0.14 | 2 min |





