








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1713 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1014 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2118 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 944 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $770,315 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | your personal homework folder | 64% | 80 |
| #2 | °^° | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | I like to give head | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Ⓧ | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | Christian_18 calls Murphe Daddy | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | your personal homework folder | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Ⓧ | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Christian_18 calls Murphe Daddy | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | I like to give head | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | °^° | 2 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | your personal homework folder | 153 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Christian_18 calls Murphe Daddy | 91 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ⓧ | 63 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | I like to give head | 62 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | °^° | 33 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | your personal homework folder | +1.51 | 40 | 72 |
| #2 | °^° | +1.29 | 73 | 55 |
| #3 | I like to give head | +1.20 | 58 | 55 |
| #4 | Christian_18 calls Murphe Daddy | +0.89 | 39 | 69 |
| #5 | Ⓧ | +0.38 | 26 | 67 |





