








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,472 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1118 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1217 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1080 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1057 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,014,325 of utility $269 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 395 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | °^° | 58% | 78 |
| #2 | Christian_18 calls Murphe Daddy | 57% | 82 |
| #3 | panda | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | maio | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | your personal homework folder | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Christian_18 calls Murphe Daddy | 161 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | °^° | 137 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bambusbjörn | 134 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | panda | 75 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | your personal homework folder | 59 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maio | +4.44 | 91 | 56 |
| #2 | your personal homework folder | +1.36 | 36 | 74 |
| #3 | °^° | +1.15 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | Christian_18 calls Murphe Daddy | +0.98 | 31 | 73 |
| #5 | I like to give head | -0.09 | 58 | 53 |





