








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 396 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2619 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1358 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2469 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2541 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $898,687 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 454 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Sutti | 50% | 52 |
| #7 | [WILL] DaddysSpiltMilk | 49% | 43 |
| #8 | Raggle | 47% | 34 |
| #9 | Max <3 | 46% | 143 |
| #10 | Nintencraft360 | 34% | 32 |





