








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 252 | 18% |
| Smokes | 229 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 334 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 621 | 43% |
Our logs show you have wasted $45,821 of utility $12 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Professional Bait | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | Magiker | 47% | 15 |
| #3 | UnluckyLortee | 44% | 89 |
| #4 | WICKEEED | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | 22 and no talent | 41% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | WICKEEED | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | 22 and no talent | 41% | 87 |
| #6 | I ♡ de_Mirage Horst_Josef | 41% | 34 |
| #7 | Fabian | 39% | 62 |
| #8 | lildickgirl666 | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 22 and no talent | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Professional Bait | 5 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Fabian | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | I ♡ de_Mirage Horst_Josef | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | UnluckyLortee | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnluckyLortee | 200 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Fabian | 104 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | 22 and no talent | 95 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Magiker | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | WICKEEED | 31 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Professional Bait | +8.95 | 93 | 46 |
| #2 | Fabian | +7.23 | 87 | 46 |
| #3 | UnluckyLortee | +4.07 | 85 | 56 |
| #4 | WICKEEED | -0.55 | 41 | 49 |
| #5 | Magiker | -1.63 | 28 | 47 |





