








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,220 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2082 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1320 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3015 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1803 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $666,120 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | degel- | 61% | 77 |
| #2 | WICKEEED | 52% | 63 |
| #3 | Tundil897 | 51% | 68 |
| #4 | 22 and no talent | 49% | 128 |
| #5 | Bostitch__™ | 44% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bostitch__™ | 44% | 100 |
| #6 | Hutbürger | 44% | 89 |
| #7 | WaterLemon | 40% | 30 |
| #8 | KantenEcke | 39% | 56 |
| #9 | (2)Mako | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 22 and no talent | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | degel- | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Tundil897 | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Bostitch__™ | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | WICKEEED | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | degel- | 345 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | Tundil897 | 214 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | 22 and no talent | 155 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | WICKEEED | 137 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bostitch__™ | 94 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | degel- | +4.90 | 86 | 74 |
| #2 | UnluckyLortee | +1.94 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | Bostitch__™ | +0.63 | 53 | 42 |
| #4 | Tundil897 | -0.18 | 65 | 64 |
| #5 | (2)Mako | -0.44 | 61 | 49 |





