








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 484 | 8% |
| Smokes | 2765 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 1527 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1559 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $155,992 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | kettu3 | 37% | 19 |
| #17 | Juippa | 35% | 20 |
| #18 | busse80 | 32% | 25 |
| #19 | ERroXX | 31% | 16 |
| #20 | JeSSe | 26% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Preussi | 74 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | ERroXX | 54 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | ormari | 52 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | JeSSe | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | busse80 | 44 | 0.09 | 1 min |





