








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1097 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 251 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 226 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3524 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3561 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3306 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4285 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2933 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $986,621 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 732 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | puuksu_mees7 | 57% | 77 |
| #2 | jonatan | 54% | 124 |
| #3 | VampirePimp2018 | 49% | 475 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | puuksu_mees7 | 57% | 77 |
| #2 | jonatan | 54% | 124 |
| #3 | VampirePimp2018 | 49% | 475 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VampirePimp2018 | 55 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | jonatan | 34 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | puuksu_mees7 | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VampirePimp2018 | 1551 | 0.19 | 39 min |
| #2 | jonatan | 159 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | puuksu_mees7 | 141 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VampirePimp2018 | +2.08 | 55 | 74 |
| #2 | puuksu_mees7 | +1.08 | 64 | 59 |
| #3 | jonatan | +0.25 | 50 | 37 |
| #4 | I Have Erectile Dysfunction | -0.39 | 41 | 53 |





