








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1079 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3307 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2971 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1587 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2454 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,499,524 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1596 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Rev1[21]e | 83% | 23 |
| #2 | Dykie | 78% | 27 |
| #3 | yellow flash | 77% | 119 |
| #4 | ha | 75% | 105 |
| #5 | zharkiE | 62% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yellow flash | 44 | 0.0174 |
| #2 | ha | 37 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | Lord Rev1[21]e | 6 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | Milo | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | zharkiE | 3 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yellow flash | 495 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | ha | 374 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Milo | 209 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Klei[N]ツ | 155 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dykie | 137 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ha | +4.32 | 92 | 59 |
| #2 | yellow flash | +3.22 | 72 | 64 |
| #3 | Craigfish (selling skins) | +3.09 | 80 | 55 |
| #4 | Lord Rev1[21]e | +2.07 | 88 | 55 |
| #5 | zharkiE | +1.28 | 78 | 48 |





