








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1029 | 29% |
| Smokes | 785 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 662 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1039 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $330,716 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | win | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | dumb | 63% | 41 |
| #3 | ster | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | BlunderBlub | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | SamBox. | 58% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | andalusia | 54% | 41 |
| #9 | bliss**fields | 50% | 10 |
| #10 | peri | 50% | 24 |
| #11 | AZUWU | 45% | 11 |
| #12 | p1ksel | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dumb | 195 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | SamBox. | 191 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #3 | ster | 129 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #4 | andalusia | 79 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | peri | 64 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dumb | +5.14 | 83 | 58 |
| #2 | AZUWU | +4.95 | 90 | 62 |
| #3 | ster | +4.45 | 86 | 53 |
| #4 | p1ksel | +2.10 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | SamBox. | +1.53 | 75 | 76 |





