








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 611 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Esplay | 11 matches | 2,010 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1838 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1619 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1373 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1320 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $360,979 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaddyEzzy | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | C6W | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | caspian | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | TruZt | トラスト | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | caspian | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | TruZt | トラスト | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ | 40% | 20 |
| #6 | div | 38% | 24 |
| #7 | zjams | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ | 5 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | div | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | C6W | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caspian | 127 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | TruZt | トラスト | 108 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #3 | DaddyEzzy | 92 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | div | 60 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | zjams | 58 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaddyEzzy | +2.88 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | Fennzi | +2.63 | 81 | 53 |
| #3 | caspian | +0.12 | 82 | 62 |
| #4 | C6W | -0.29 | 83 | 55 |
| #5 | zjams | -0.45 | 71 | 63 |





