








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 888 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 460 matches | ||
| Premier | 280 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10452 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8206 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5056 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 7769 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,172,094 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2002 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Green | 63% | 43 |
| #2 | Alfredo | 62% | 73 |
| #3 | minari | 58% | 45 |
| #4 | ./xkyyy | 48% | 168 |
| #5 | Skywalker | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Alfredo | 62% | 73 |
| #3 | minari | 58% | 45 |
| #4 | ./xkyyy | 48% | 168 |
| #5 | Skywalker | 46% | 63 |
| #6 | Milkyray | 45% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ./xkyyy | 20 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Milkyray | 14 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Alfredo | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Green | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Skywalker | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ./xkyyy | 683 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | Milkyray | 420 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | Alfredo | 237 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Skywalker | 195 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Green | 143 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Green | +2.69 | 77 | 65 |
| #2 | Alfredo | +1.60 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | Skywalker | +1.16 | 78 | 53 |
| #4 | Twoos | +0.91 | 73 | 60 |
| #5 | Milkyray | -0.14 | 53 | 74 |





