








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 399 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 130 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5735 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,881 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5360 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4112 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4765 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4644 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,596,608 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1725 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deza | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | shmuk | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | wyse two | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Dishonest Amish | 6 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Twoos | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deza | 685 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | shmuk | 547 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | ./xkyyy | 343 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | wyse two | 327 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | Twoos | 324 | 0.21 | 6 min |





