








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1556 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1414 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1270 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1208 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 975 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $533,764 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rene | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Torsti | 65% | 49 |
| #3 | söpö | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | irasee | 54% | 48 |
| #5 | Xuikki | 52% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bNe | 15 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | irasee | 15 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | Torsti | 15 | 0.0154 |
| #4 | pemos | 13 | 0.0200 |
| #5 | HONG SENG YOUNG | 12 | 0.0284 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bNe | 295 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | irasee | 229 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | Xuikki | 190 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Torsti | 148 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | söpö | 122 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rene | +4.60 | 90 | 62 |
| #2 | bNe | +4.06 | 95 | 59 |
| #3 | Torsti | +2.64 | 86 | 57 |
| #4 | nalleq-LiftingMouse | +1.04 | 81 | 64 |
| #5 | irasee | +0.41 | 69 | 65 |





