








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,579 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 974 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1464 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1155 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 986 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $849,634 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JerryAlder | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | pulu | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Mokren | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | ¤Ismael | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Shikai | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JerryAlder | 682 | 0.34 | 20 min |
| #2 | Mokren | 152 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | ¤Ismael | 125 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Shikai | 104 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Antero | 71 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mokren | +2.67 | 72 | 73 |
| #2 | Shikai | +1.59 | 68 | 65 |
| #3 | Röyhkeä | +1.42 | 68 | 29 |
| #4 | pookin pelikone | -0.10 | 69 | 49 |
| #5 | Wukkake | -0.25 | 54 | 73 |





