








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,220 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2467 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3568 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2478 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2707 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $906,952 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Finn <3 | 46% | 26 |
| #11 | JerryAlder | 45% | 80 |
| #12 | Mokren | 44% | 68 |
| #13 | pookin pelikone | 42% | 26 |
| #14 | Shikai | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | botsukka | 6 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | JerryAlder | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Eversti Sandels | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Finn <3 | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Pottu | 3 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JerryAlder | 551 | 0.31 | 18 min |
| #2 | Mokren | 205 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Dexsie | 159 | 0.35 | 6 min |
| #4 | ¤Ismael | 154 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Shikai | 130 | 0.14 | 4 min |





