








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,225 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 385 | 31% |
| Smokes | 192 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 285 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 363 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $89,060 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | yo send nudes | 60% | 5 |
| #7 | CoD is better | 51% | 47 |
| #8 | fargius | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | BootyLord | 38% | 8 |
| #10 | Digital_Myth | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoD is better | 13 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | Bricked up | 2 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | fargius | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | yo send nudes | 1 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | ctv | 1 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoD is better | 135 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bricked up | 44 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | fargius | 43 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | BootyLord | 42 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #5 | ctv | 15 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | growls* welcome to my domain | +14.99 | 98 | 55 |
| #2 | fargius | +5.07 | 87 | 61 |
| #3 | Digital_Myth | +2.87 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | ctv | +2.38 | 63 | 70 |
| #5 | 3 rivers 3 rivers | +1.11 | 87 | 43 |





