








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 855 | 34% |
| Smokes | 725 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 623 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 333 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $415,314 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | europa | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | court -iwnl- | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | 平安 Sk1nny 平安 | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Rank wood | 53% | 80 |
| #5 | r | 51% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rank wood | 24 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | 平安 Sk1nny 平安 | 19 | 0.0314 |
| #3 | r | 11 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | xwy | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Põranda inspektor 3000 | 2 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rank wood | 404 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | xwy | 114 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | 平安 Sk1nny 平安 | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | court -iwnl- | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | r | 28 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xwy | +3.14 | 86 | 49 |
| #2 | europa | +2.08 | 87 | 50 |
| #3 | Rank wood | +1.86 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | lebraofficial | +0.38 | 58 | 49 |
| #5 | 平安 Sk1nny 平安 | +0.31 | 63 | 39 |





