








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 342 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




105 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6480 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3407 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 5013 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5164 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,061,074 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2893 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carlak | 46% | 39 |
| #2 | FraXI | 46% | 151 |
| #3 | MARIO | 46% | 200 |
| #4 | Eni | 44% | 198 |
| #5 | paze | 44% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Shitleif | 43% | 30 |
| #7 | rexii | 38% | 73 |
| #8 | Foxip | 38% | 34 |
| #9 | (っ◔◡◔)っIvan | 38% | 69 |
| #10 | Borat | 33% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FraXI | 58 | 0.0188 |
| #2 | MARIO | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | paze | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Eni | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | rexii | 9 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FraXI | 384 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | MARIO | 237 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | rexii | 194 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Eni | 133 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | paze | 120 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | black duldy | +2.56 | 92 | 61 |
| #2 | FraXI | +1.75 | 82 | 66 |
| #3 | paze | +0.88 | 85 | 49 |
| #4 | (っ◔◡◔)っIvan | +0.51 | 70 | 46 |
| #5 | rexii | +0.31 | 76 | 63 |





