










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1254 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1206 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 954 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 852 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $978,476 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | rexii | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | Bober | 38% | 21 |
| #9 | FraXI | 38% | 24 |
| #10 | Borat | 31% | 13 |
| #11 | MARIO | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | black duldy | 21 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | bYtR | 17 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | FraXI | 7 | 0.0130 |
| #4 | Bober | 7 | 0.0165 |
| #5 | ESPRIT 空想 | 5 | 0.0233 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | black duldy | 369 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | bYtR | 268 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | FraXI | 68 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Eni | 52 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | rexii | 45 | 0.14 | 1 min |





