










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1078 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 563 | 18% |
| Smokes | 964 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 768 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 882 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $485,587 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polyester Prince | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | davidwrlddd | 79% | 14 |
| #3 | Barbie Roberts | 68% | 74 |
| #4 | FOGAちー! | 67% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polyester Prince | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | davidwrlddd | 79% | 14 |
| #3 | Barbie Roberts | 68% | 74 |
| #4 | FOGAちー! | 67% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FOGAちー! | 14 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Barbie Roberts | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | davidwrlddd | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Polyester Prince | 1 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FOGAちー! | 200 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Barbie Roberts | 146 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | davidwrlddd | 66 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #4 | Polyester Prince | 14 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FOGAちー! | +5.07 | 64 | 59 |
| #2 | Shikikan | +1.73 | 47 | 51 |
| #3 | Polyester Prince | +0.99 | 48 | 45 |
| #4 | Barbie Roberts | -0.30 | 54 | 36 |
| #5 | davidwrlddd | -1.97 | 66 | 60 |





