








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 870 | 21% |
| Smokes | 622 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1855 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 714 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $683,529 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ETMA | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Birgit fra regnskab | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | ☆ 1ceBunny ♡ | 47% | 32 |
| #4 | Østervemb | 41% | 17 |
| #5 | eazy | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Birgit fra regnskab | 7 | 0.0222 |
| #2 | Loco | 6 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | Østervemb | 3 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | ☆ 1ceBunny ♡ | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | eazy | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ISBJ0RN3N | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Loco | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Østervemb | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | eazy | 27 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | ☆ 1ceBunny ♡ | 23 | 0.03 | 1 min |





