








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1419 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1648 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1601 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2432 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $840,047 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruben | 55% | 73 |
| #2 | rapid` | 55% | 75 |
| #3 | Speedy | 53% | 103 |
| #4 | Fally | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | berg1 *willhaben | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fally | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | berg1 *willhaben | 50% | 34 |
| #6 | Styx | 50% | 220 |
| #7 | Lawk | 47% | 15 |
| #8 | Leo | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Styx | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Leo | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Speedy | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | berg1 *willhaben | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Lawk | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Styx | 476 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | Speedy | 276 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Ruben | 268 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | rapid` | 240 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | berg1 *willhaben | 179 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rapid` | +2.37 | 89 | 59 |
| #2 | feraX- | +1.23 | 86 | 60 |
| #3 | Lawk | +0.63 | 82 | 51 |
| #4 | Styx | -0.25 | 75 | 60 |
| #5 | berg1 *willhaben | -0.73 | 64 | 72 |





