










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 299 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 745 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1259 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1860 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1090 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,531,540 of utility $245 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4744 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nyargh!! | 43% | 35 |
| #2 | marceline ♡ | 42% | 85 |
| #3 | Uhhhh.... | 42% | 183 |
| #4 | Jared B | 26% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nyargh!! | 43% | 35 |
| #2 | marceline ♡ | 42% | 85 |
| #3 | Uhhhh.... | 42% | 183 |
| #4 | Jared B | 26% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marceline ♡ | 22 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Uhhhh.... | 15 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | nyargh!! | 10 | 0.0153 |
| #4 | Jared B | 7 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marceline ♡ | 213 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Uhhhh.... | 208 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | nyargh!! | 63 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jared B | 55 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jared B | +3.31 | 59 | 46 |
| #2 | nyargh!! | +2.97 | 46 | 49 |
| #3 | marceline ♡ | +2.44 | 69 | 17 |
| #4 | Uhhhh.... | -0.99 | 38 | 38 |
| #5 | KittyLynn≽^•⩊•^≼ | -2.48 | 41 | 24 |





