








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 889 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 486 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 169 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2259 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2998 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1982 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2377 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,209,999 of utility $247 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 381 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sclazi | 50% | 367 |
| #2 | sara | 50% | 40 |
| #3 | Johnny Cashmere | 48% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sclazi | 50% | 367 |
| #2 | sara | 50% | 40 |
| #3 | Johnny Cashmere | 48% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sclazi | 15 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Johnny Cashmere | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | sara | 4 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sclazi | 219 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #2 | Johnny Cashmere | 175 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | sara | 116 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sara | +1.28 | 54 | 56 |
| #2 | Sclazi | +0.27 | 56 | 29 |
| #3 | Raymond | -0.92 | 46 | 37 |
| #4 | Johnny Cashmere | -1.09 | 46 | 32 |





