








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Wingman | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2196 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3437 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 2163 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 757 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $498,161 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 274 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShannyW | 25 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | Who? | 23 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | [TFad3] toXik | 21 | 0.0154 |
| #4 | Longbow | 16 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | ✪ JaxTV | 9 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Who? | 249 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Longbow | 225 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | ✪ JaxTV | 188 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | [TFad3] toXik | 180 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Severook35 | 165 | 0.14 | 3 min |





