








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1542 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1516 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2399 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1866 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $568,677 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [TFad3] Rem1z | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | Longbow | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | ✪ JaxTV | 47% | 163 |
| #4 | Courage the Cowardly Dog | 44% | 66 |
| #5 | Who? | 35% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [TFad3] Rem1z | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | Longbow | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | ✪ JaxTV | 47% | 163 |
| #4 | Courage the Cowardly Dog | 44% | 66 |
| #5 | Who? | 35% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ JaxTV | 20 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Who? | 15 | 0.0196 |
| #3 | Longbow | 11 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | Courage the Cowardly Dog | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | [TFad3] Rem1z | 4 | 0.0125 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ JaxTV | 186 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | Who? | 89 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Courage the Cowardly Dog | 88 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Longbow | 73 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | [TFad3] Rem1z | 24 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ JaxTV | +3.13 | 65 | 49 |
| #2 | Longbow | +2.15 | 79 | 43 |
| #3 | Who? | +0.52 | 46 | 75 |
| #4 | [TFad3] Rem1z | -1.37 | 66 | 49 |
| #5 | Courage the Cowardly Dog | -2.43 | 45 | 46 |





