








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1734 | 31% |
| Smokes | 814 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1604 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1471 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,045,054 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Downie | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | (-_・) ︻デ 一 ▸ | 52% | 172 |
| #3 | Gubi Heinz II | 49% | 119 |
| #4 | Freddy Fazbear | 47% | 216 |
| #5 | Ketl Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ | 47% | 304 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ketl Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ | 85 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | Freddy Fazbear | 36 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | (-_・) ︻デ 一 ▸ | 30 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Gubi Heinz II | 14 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Downie | 5 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ketl Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ | 643 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | Freddy Fazbear | 262 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | (-_・) ︻デ 一 ▸ | 250 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Gubi Heinz II | 231 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Downie | 58 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gubi Heinz II | +2.01 | 60 | 50 |
| #2 | Milli | +1.57 | 72 | 42 |
| #3 | Ketl Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ | +0.96 | 41 | 56 |
| #4 | (-_・) ︻デ 一 ▸ | +0.41 | 47 | 40 |
| #5 | Downie | -0.16 | 58 | 37 |





