








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
671 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 492 | 52% |
| Smokes | 47 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 262 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 147 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,543 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ketl Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ | 12 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | (-_・) ︻デ 一 ▸ | 12 | 0.0163 |
| #3 | Gubi Heinz II | 10 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Freddy Fazbear | 8 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | Milli | 4 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gubi Heinz II | 142 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ketl Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ | 105 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | (-_・) ︻デ 一 ▸ | 66 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Milli | 65 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Freddy Fazbear | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ketl Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ | +2.70 | 42 | 54 |
| #2 | Milli | +2.35 | 71 | 41 |
| #3 | Gubi Heinz II | +1.94 | 59 | 53 |
| #4 | (-_・) ︻デ 一 ▸ | +0.10 | 50 | 39 |
| #5 | Freddy Fazbear | -1.64 | 22 | 39 |





