








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2279 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,770 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 386 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1025 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1252 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1107 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $455,161 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪GSpin | 55% | 47 |
| #2 | 2phoenix4 | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | Alex | 50% | 137 |
| #4 | No Aim Dude | 49% | 122 |
| #5 | Dixter | 48% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | No Aim Dude | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Mike-quil | 5 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | Dixter | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | ✪GSpin | 4 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | 491 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | No Aim Dude | 428 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | Dixter | 263 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | ✪GSpin | 134 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | tbdgr | 74 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dixter | +2.05 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | No Aim Dude | +1.87 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | ✪GSpin | +1.57 | 69 | 59 |
| #4 | Toph | -0.29 | 54 | 30 |
| #5 | 2phoenix4 | -0.90 | 55 | 61 |





