








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4849 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3316 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1232 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2991 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,329,579 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 350 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khood | 31 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | LE BJONDAANEN | 18 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | N3M0N | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | 0/7 ez leave /THE FEERLESS/ | 12 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Don Chuan De BeH1gH #ColumbiaGAN | 10 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khood | 936 | 0.20 | 29 min |
| #2 | N3M0N | 529 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | LE BJONDAANEN | 338 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | ✪ M1ke | 247 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | Don Chuan De BeH1gH #ColumbiaGAN | 230 | 0.20 | 6 min |





