








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1203 | 26% |
| Smokes | 889 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1372 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1152 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $378,382 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1019 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | he is lebanese | 28 | 0.0265 |
| #2 | Scheiße | 9 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | Esryn Shudder | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Heyzeus -> Buying Skins | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | leddy_counterstrike_gamer_07 | 2 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esryn Shudder | 282 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | he is lebanese | 249 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | Scheiße | 229 | 0.32 | 7 min |
| #4 | silver_snooz | 74 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | leddy_counterstrike_gamer_07 | 60 | 0.20 | 2 min |





