








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1361 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1452 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1002 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 980 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $370,878 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 390 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esryn Shudder | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | PIWO PIWO PIWO PIWO PIWO PIWO | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | ♥ AustralianTrash | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | Heyzeus -> Buying Skins | 38% | 26 |
| #5 | leddy_counterstrike_gamer_07 | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esryn Shudder | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | PIWO PIWO PIWO PIWO PIWO PIWO | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | ♥ AustralianTrash | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | Heyzeus -> Buying Skins | 38% | 26 |
| #5 | leddy_counterstrike_gamer_07 | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ AustralianTrash | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | leddy_counterstrike_gamer_07 | 2 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | Esryn Shudder | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ AustralianTrash | 58 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | leddy_counterstrike_gamer_07 | 49 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | Esryn Shudder | 28 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #4 | PIWO PIWO PIWO PIWO PIWO PIWO | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Heyzeus -> Buying Skins | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esryn Shudder | +2.55 | 66 | 57 |
| #2 | Scheiße | +1.68 | 69 | 56 |
| #3 | ♥ AustralianTrash | -0.48 | 33 | 50 |
| #4 | Heyzeus -> Buying Skins | -0.96 | 64 | 37 |
| #5 | leddy_counterstrike_gamer_07 | -1.79 | 52 | 59 |





