








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1772 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1134 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1262 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 220 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $440,125 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr Melon M'gee | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Frank Sky | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | A Cool Guy | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Big Chef | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | James_ | 50% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Splash | 49% | 49 |
| #8 | Tobester | 49% | 74 |
| #9 | Arcann | 47% | 57 |
| #10 | Honey | 38% | 29 |
| #11 | Walker | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arcann | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | James_ | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Awsus | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Splash | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Big Chef | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James_ | 199 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Awsus | 172 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Arcann | 148 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Splash | 121 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Honey | 108 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Honey | +3.02 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | Splash | +2.77 | 69 | 72 |
| #3 | feen | +1.38 | 70 | 57 |
| #4 | Walker | +0.84 | 88 | 55 |
| #5 | Frank Sky | +0.84 | 80 | 62 |





