








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 369 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,599 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1860 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1430 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2516 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 793 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,023,503 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Washed Player | 55% | 104 |
| #2 | ❤Duckyyy❤ | 47% | 100 |
| #3 | disneyh8er | 46% | 198 |
| #4 | King Jehosahphat | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | DeltaBlitz | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | disneyh8er | 553 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | ❤Duckyyy❤ | 282 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Gundo | 102 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | DeltaBlitz | 91 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Washed Player | 73 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | disneyh8er | +4.40 | 50 | 77 |
| #2 | IAMTHENIGHTMAREBEFORECHRISTMAS | +1.36 | 49 | 42 |
| #3 | DeltaBlitz | +1.01 | 62 | 64 |
| #4 | Washed Player | +0.70 | 54 | 35 |
| #5 | JackLulz | -1.33 | 37 | 55 |





