








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 464 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Faceit | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3261 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3354 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2080 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2657 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,932,350 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 809 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | glonk | 46% | 35 |
| #6 | K o j - | 41% | 32 |
| #7 | chili | 40% | 40 |
| #8 | weston | 38% | 32 |
| #9 | Zygoat | 36% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chili | 6 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Zygoat | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | glonk | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Cagey | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Respect | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .mxr | 225 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Cagey | 205 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | Zygoat | 196 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | chili | 185 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | glonk | 167 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Respect | +2.36 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | weston | +1.16 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | blink | +1.07 | 74 | 49 |
| #4 | Zygoat | +0.12 | 76 | 57 |
| #5 | Cagey | -0.23 | 63 | 67 |





