








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 73 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3922 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1204 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 2507 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2849 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $763,345 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 561 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pants | 14 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | Zygoat | 12 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | .mxr | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | chili | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Monthly Showers | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .mxr | 257 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Monthly Showers | 249 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | chili | 184 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Zygoat | 147 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | blink | 106 | 0.15 | 2 min |





