








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 433 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




148 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1802 | 13% |
| Smokes | 4349 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4419 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3253 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,041,710 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 362 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brigadier General Giant Dad | 57% | 37 |
| 57% | 90 | ||
| 54% | 35 | ||
| #4 | Lt. CUMWARD | 49% | 141 |
| #5 | King Luhas | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Luhas | 14 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | TheToadLord | 13 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Sergeant Hi | 9 | 0.0061 |
| 9 | 0.0128 | ||
| #5 | Hairy Thotter | 9 | 0.0131 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Luhas | +3.11 | 50 | 62 |
| #2 | v1kkyt | +1.14 | 53 | 49 |
| #3 | TheToadLord | +0.96 | 49 | 52 |
| #4 | Colonel Jeff | +0.43 | 57 | 38 |
| +0.41 | 64 | 14 |





