








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 495 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1013 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2729 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 1368 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1122 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,692,941 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Specialist Boat$ & Hoes | 488 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hairy Thotter | 193 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Lt. CUMWARD | 157 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | v1kkyt | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Colonel Jeff | 72 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Hanged Man | +3.27 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | v1kkyt | +1.06 | 51 | 55 |
| #3 | Brigadier General Giant Dad | +0.70 | 37 | 25 |
| #4 | Colonel Jeff | +0.66 | 57 | 38 |
| #5 | Sergeant Hi | +0.60 | 59 | 37 |





